It was in the early fall and I was in my yard raking the leaves. It was getting extremely cold, so I started bagging them. I brought them to the side of my house and set the rake down next to them. I turned around and a boy with thick black sunglasses was standing in front of me. It took me a second to realize who he was. He took off the sunglasses, and gave me a glance, "Do you know where the Whitney Hotel is? My bus is lost." "Yeah, if you just go down two more blocks you should find it." "Thanks, thank you very much. Here......." He took his gloves off and reached into his back pocket. "I'm doing a concert tonight, why don't you come?!" "No, I couldn't take these." I shook my head. "I insist. I'd be honored." "Well, as long as you put it that way." We laughed, "By the way," He said, "my name is Taylor Hanson." "I'm Sarah Roderick. It's nice to meet you." "Yeah, it was nice to meet you too. I'll see you tonight." "Okay." He left and got back onto the bus. I went into my house, and looked at the tickets. They were center front...........in 2 hours. I hurried and got ready. I felt myself becoming excited over something that I didn't really enjoy. When I drove to the stadium, girls filled the front entry, screaming with signs. I squirmed through them and into the doors. There was a man in front standing with a clipboard. I walked past him and he grabbed my arm. "What's your name?" "Sarah." "Sarah what." "Roderick." He looked at the paper on the clipboard then let go of my arm, "Okay, you're on the list. First door on the right." I walked down the hall, and into the room. smoke filled the air. I took my hand and brushed it out of my face, and coughed. The smoke cleared and Taylor walked up to me. "Hey, I'm glad you came, I was afraid they wouldn't let you in. I want you to meet my brothers. Isaac and Zac." I shook their hands, and kept coughing. "Who's on the smoking spree?" I winded the smoke away. "Our record execs. They always do this before a show." Taylor told me, "Come on, you can sit down with us." We sat down on a long velvet couch facing another couch with 3 men in dark black suits smoking cigars. "Hey there girl," one said to me letting the cigar hang in his mouth, "you must be so happy Taylor chose you to be his girlfriend." Taylor laughed a little, and shook his head, I smiled at the man, "Actually I'm not his girlfriend." "I told you Mark, there aren't any girls in my life right now." "That's the problem with you young people today, don't you know it's all about sex rock n' roll and drugs?" Taylor looked at him, taking the cigar out of his mouth, "Don't smoke these, they are really bad for you." A half hour later I went to my seat. They played a few songs for over 40,000 people, all screaming girls with huge 20 foot signs. I sat in my seat while everyone stood waving their hands, throwing their bodies at the front. Then the music stopped and Taylor came to the front, he put his finger to his lips and made the audience silent. Then he put his arm out, and I took it. I went onto the stage with him. He took his microphone, "I'd like you all to meet my friend Sarah, I met her earlier today. She's from around here, and she helped our tour bus out a lot." He put his hand over the microphone, "It's nerve wrecking isn't it?" he whispered. I nodded. "Try doing a whole show everyday day. Meet me after the show around the back." I walked off the stage and back to my seat.

Chapter 2

Afterwards I stood out back in the cold. He came out of a door leading to the alley I stood in. "Hey, Sarah!" He called quietly. "Hey, why are we whispering?" "I don't want any of the other girls to hear me." "Why?" "Because they might get all crazy, and attack you. But you never know." I laughed, and shivered a bit. "Here," he said wrapping his jacket around me, "it's quite thin, but it'll help. I never wear anything heavy on stage, I'll sweat like crazy." "Thanks, this is fine." "Do you want to sit out here? It's kinda nice." I nodded, we sat down and talked to each other. "Sarah, I know I haven't really talked to you a lot or anything but so far on this tour, you've been the only relief. I'm so use to constant screams, and mobbing that it was just real nice to finally talk to a girl that listens. Ya' know, it's different than just talking to someone. I could talk to anyone about anything but it's nice to know someone is willing to listen too!" "I'm happy to listen, and I'm even happier to know you want to talk! Taylor you know, if you ever need anything, or if you just need to sit with someone, I'm always here. I'm never going to leave." I put my hand on his leg. He looked down at my hand, and back at me. He didn't take his eyes away, then slowly he placed his hand on mine. "Thanks." he said. "I really need a friend like you right now." Zac came out and saw us, "Tay, come on, we've got a party going inside. Sarah you can come with too!" Taylor jumped off the crate we were siting on, took my hand, and pulled me off, and then we went inside. The party was smoke filled, and fun. An hour into the party, Taylor grabbed my arm and took me into the nearest bathroom. He pulled out two unfilled rubber balloons. "Here, fill this one up." I put the rubber balloon under the sink and filled it with water. "What are we doing this for?" I asked him. "To throw at someone." He tied his up, and I tied mine also. He took me to the top floor of the building and we went to the nearest window. "Taylor, isn't this a bit cruel?" "Completely, especially since it's freezing cold outside." He smiled, then looked out the window. "Okay, there are three people right there. Throw it." He threw his, and it hit the girl in the middle. I threw mine, and hit the second girl. They cried, and shivered when the water hit. Taylor and I burst out laughing, "That was so mean, but so fun!" He said, then stopped laughing.

Chapter 3

He placed his hand on my neck, and leaned over to kiss me. I could feel his breath on my neck, and his warm soft lips against mine. He pulled me close to him. We stood there, but then I pushed him away, "Taylor, you know, I just want to be your friend. I don't want to do this." "I'm sorry Sarah." He said, then let go. We sat silent for a few minutes, not knowing what to say. We were alone in that room for at least an hour, and now had nothing to say. "Sarah, I want to hold you." We laid down on the floor and I curled up next to him. He wrapped his arms around me, and kissed my cheek. We fell asleep that night on the floor, and nobody seemed to come look for us. I woke up early the next morning, and my back hurt really bad. I shoved Taylor, until he woke up. He looked around, trying to figure out where he was. "Sarah, where's my family?" "I don't know." I answered. He looked kind of worried, "We didn't, um,.........ya' know?" He asked. I shook my head, "No." "Okay, good." He got up and combed his hair with his fingers. We ran down the stairs, and looked around for someone we knew. We saw his dad sleeping on the couch. Taylor nudged him, and he got up. "Taylor, where were you last night?" His dad angrily asked. "We fell asleep on the top floor. Sorry dad." His dad shook his head. "Come on, people are waiting for you at the studio. Sarah I will drive you home." "No, I have my car with me." I hugged Taylor and we kissed each other's cheeks. "Bye Sarah." I left before them, and went back to my home.

Chapter 4

I was going to pretend we never kissed, I wanted a commitment with someone I liked. But Taylor was a friend, and nothing more. When they got back from the studio, Isaac came to my house. He'd never been here before so I was surprised to see him. "Hey Ike." "Hi Sarah. How are you doing?" "Just fine," I said pulling him in and shutting my door, "What did you come by for?" "Well, I don't know, just to see what you were up to." I raised an eyebrow, showing him I didn't believe it, "Oh, okay, I came to talk to you about something." He smiled. "What, is something wrong?" "No, not really. It's just, well, I've known you for like, maybe a day, and I have feelings for you. I have never had a girlfriend before or anything, but I know what it feels like." I stared wide eyed. I couldn't believe this. Isaac was almost three years older than me. "Okay, well, let's talk about it then." I told him. He moved a little closer to me. "Sarah, all I want to ask is, how do you feel about me?" 'What do I say?' I thought to myself. "What do you want to do right now Isaac?" "I want to kiss you." "I want to kiss you." I repeated back to him. I put my hand on his arm, and kissed him. His lips touched my neck lightly over and over again. His fingers stroked my cheek as he kissed my lips. Then he pulled away, "Do you want to be with me?" He asked, I nodded, and pulled him towards me again. Thoughts of Taylor kept crossing my mind, that night on the top floor when he kissed me, Isaac kissed nothing like Taylor. Everytime I looked at Isaac, Taylor would appear. And I became even more confused. Isaac went home, and I laid down trying to sort things out. I wondered if Taylor had any feelings for me at all, and if he would be hurt by Isaac and me together. Soon I fell asleep. The next morning when I woke up, I called Taylor and told him to come over. I decided that we were going to talk about Isaac and me. When I told him, he had this look in his eye that no one could ever forget, but he held back his anger and frustration. I stroked his hair as we talked to one another. "Taylor it wasn't meant to hurt you." I said standing up. I tugged on his arm to get up also. I stood there with my arms around his warm body. He didn't say anything, we just held each other. I pulled away from his a little but then stopped. His gaze was deep into my eyes, and mine was into his. The whole night in the building started happening all over again. He put his hand on my neck, and leaned in to kiss me. The closer he got the more I could feel his breath. Then before he could touch my lips, I turned my head, and let go of him. "Oh god, Sarah, I am so sorry, I'll leave." He started running towards the door, but I pulled on his arm. "Taylor, it's okay, nothing happened." He looked so sad, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, um, you know, do that. I shouldn't have looked at you like that. Isaac is going to be so mad at me. Don't say anything, please. I've got to go." Taylor had never been so nervous looking. "I'm sorry." He ran out of my house shaking.

Chapter 5

"Taylor!" I yelled after him, but he didn't stop, and he didn't answer. I felt so bad, and I didn't know what to do. I opened my door and started running after him. I caught up with him soon and held his arm so he couldn't get away. "Taylor, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm telling the truth, nothing went wrong." I shook him a little, and I looked at him. "Sarah, you know that if you hadn't pulled away, something would' ve happened, you know it and I know it. So stop telling me nothing went wrong. Sarah, Ike's my brother, I guess you're his girlfriend, and that happened for a reason. So I've got to stay away from you." "No," I shook my head, "I don't want you to stay away from me, that's not what I want. I want you to stay around me. Taylor, how can you say that!" "I'm trying to do what's best. Sarah, I like you ya' know. I can't help it. So what am I supposed to do? You wanted my brother, not me!" "Taylor," I took his hands, "It wasn't Ike over you, it was your friendship of you being my boyfriend. I didn't want anything to happen to our friendship. I do things for a reason. so listen to me once in a while. I know what I'm talking about." He stared at me and didn't say anything. He jerked towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I stood there with my arms limp but then lifted them around his neck. I knew what my feelings for Ike were, but I didn't have the same ones for Taylor. We went on a walk after that, I couldn't help but feel like everything really went wrong. And for some reason, I almost knew everything had. I listened to Taylor as he talked to me, but nothing seemed to stay in my head. We walked for hours and hours straight. But it became tiring and cold, so I asked to go home. Taylor walked me back to my house and left. Isaac came over later, we just sat around for awhile, and watched T.V. I sat close to him on the couch, and he held my hand. The show we watched was boring and lame. I drew Isaac's hand close to my lips and kissed it. I could feel his discomfort, so I made my kisses soften, and began to unbutton his shirt. I pulled myself on top of him, and he laid down on the couch. I kissed his chest, and moved down to his stomach. I began to unbutton his pants, "Sarah, I don't think that's a good idea." He said pulling my hand away, "I don't want to make you do anything you'll regret." He kissed me, and pulled our bodies close. I laid on top of him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Chapter 6

He rubbed my back in a most comforting way. I sat up on him, and kissed his lips. Isaac slowly pulled my shirt over my head, and kissed my chest. "I'm not rushing you?" I shook my head. His lips were all over my body, and mine were all over him. "Mm, nice." I said to him. He laughed a little. There was a knock at my door, and it opened. "Sarah?" Taylor called. My eyes widened and I looked at Isaac. Taylor walked in. I pulled the sheet off Isaac and me, and wrapped it around myself. Isaac hurried to slip on his boxers. Taylor stared at me when he walked in, "Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in, I just wanted to tell Ike, mom wants you to come home now. When you're done that is." Taylor said sourly, and left. I pulled the sheet off me, and started getting dressed, Isaac did the same. "Bye Sarah." He kissed my cheek, and left! That afternoon when Isaac came back, Taylor came back with him. "Hey Tay." I said, trying to forget about what he'd seen before. "Tay wanted to come over and talk to us. He wouldn't tell me about what though." Taylor interrupted him and just started talking. "You are too young to have sex with Sarah. She's my age, not yours." "You know what Tay? You need to quit, why do you care?" "Because she's supposed to be mine." He yelled, "She's supposed to be my girlfriend, not yours. I love her. You tell her you care. But I show her I care." Taylor walked over to me and took my hands, "I need you Sarah, in my life." Tears rolled down my face, and I shook my head. "I care for Isaac." I told him. He let go of my hands, and left my house. I walked over to Isaac and hugged him.

Chapter 7

"Sarah, I got to talk to Taylor. He's probably so mad at me. I didn't even see it, I couldn't see it. I didn't see that he was in love with you. Sarah, we didn't know it." Isaac said squeezing me tighter in his arms. "No, don't leave me, stay here and be with me. And Isaac, I knew." He let his grip go a little, and pulled away. "You knew?" I nodded, ashamed I never said anything. "I'm sorry, but everytime we got close, I wouldn't know what to do. His lips would come close to mine, and then, I'd see you. And there would be no Taylor and me. All I could think of was you, Isaac, I care about you." "You knew?" He repeated it over and over again. His anger was all in me, and I felt bad. "Isaac...-" He put his finger up to my lips to silence me. "Why didn't you say anything?" "I didn't know how, and well, and, I don't know, I'm sorry." He pressed his lips against mine, and pulled me close. He stood behind me, and kept his arms wrapped around my body. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, as he got closer, his lips began to press on. I turned around and kissed him. His hands ran up and down my body bringing chills up and down my spine. He lifted me onto the kitchen counter, and kept kissing me. I laid down, and he crawled up on me. Things didn't go so great the next few weeks, as Taylor drew himself away from me. He'd never forgive me, and it only seemed like Isaac and Taylor needed more to be by each other. I pulled them apart and now they practically hated one another! I thought that maybe I had some feeling for him after that day the more I though about it, but I wasn't sure. Saturday morning Taylor and me took a walk away from my home. I wanted to still be friends with him just as much as I was before, but he made it so hard, and kept his distance from me. "Taylor, just because I don't feel the same way about you as I do about Isaac doesn't mean you have to stay away." "You don't understand though, Sarah, I might end up doing something with you, and I feel like I'm to blame. Isaac wouldn't forgive. This is his first girlfriend and I don't want to be the one to mess it up. I'm his best friend." I turned him towards me, "Taylor you're the one that doesn't understand. I have these mixed feelings for you, and I can't figure out what to do. The only reason I decided not to be with you was because, just can't lose you as a friend." "Do you love Isaac?" "Oh, Taylor." I whined. "Do you love Isaac?" He repeated. "I've been with him for 2 months, I can't make a decision like that." "Do you love me?" "You know I do." "As your boyfriend?" I looked away from him, "Sarah?" He stared at me. I looked into his eyes and thought for a moment. "No." We kept walking after that, he stayed silent with his head down. I didn't know what to say to him. He wouldn't let himself understand that it wasn't him, it was Isaac. I could barely even make myself believe it, because maybe I did belong with Taylor. I wanted him to hold me in his arms and just say that we could be friends and he was okay, and that I would be okay. But I knew he wouldn't, he didn't touch me, hold me, or kiss me. And suddenly I felt alone. We walked back to his house and I came inside with him. Isaac sat on the couch, waiting, waiting for us. He looked at me, and sighed, "Where we you?" He asked. "I needed to talk to someone." "You can talk to me." "I didn't think you'd be that interested in my problems, to tell you the truth I'm not interested in my problems." He walked towards me and took my hands, "I'm here to listen to your problem, not Taylor. He's my younger brother, he doesn't know." I looked at Taylor and he looked away. "I just wanted..-" Isaac put his arm around me, and directed me up to his room, shooting Taylor a look. We walked up to his room, I turned around to look at Taylor, he stared back. I waved a little, and gave a weak smile. I sat down on the bottom bunk, Taylor's bed. I ran my hand across the comforter, and closed my eyes. I pictured Taylor's body, and ran my hands over a figure. Isaac sat down, and I opened my eyes. He started kissing me but I pushed him away, "Can't you ever think of anything else? Just get off." He looked confused. I scooted away, and stood up. "I talk to Taylor because you don't listen. Taylor does listen, he does show......he shows he cares. I don't need to always have your lips clobbering my body, I need your friendship, just as much as I need you as a boyfriend." He looked like he would never understand. "So you're saying? You need my friendship?" I nodded. "What did you want to talk about?" "Well, I don't kno-......" He cut me off and grabbed my hand, "Okay so now let's make out." "I didn't even get to say anything. God, leave me alone." I pushed him away, and ran down the stairs. Taylor stopped me, and made me look at him. I struggled to get out of his grip, and left.

Chapter 8

I went home that night thinking, trying to figure Isaac out. But I couldn't. And I wondered if I should have stayed when Taylor grabbed me. I didn't know if he pulled me for a reason. Things confused me more than they ever had. I thought I cared about Isaac, but all he cared about was kissing, and touching. The more I thought about this, the more I figured out, I needed Taylor. I sat up in my bed, and cried. I didn't want to let Isaac go, but what else could I do. They had a concert the next morning. When I went I tried to meet up with Taylor in the back alley to avoid anyone, but once Isaac spotted me he came running towards us. He grabbed my arm trying to pull me away. Girls started to crowd around us, and separate Taylor and me. Everyone was screaming, but my arm felt more pain then my ears did as Isaac began to tighten his grip. "Isaac let go." I said to him trying to pull away. My arm started turning red. "Isaac, let go." I yelled, "You're hurting me!" Taylor looked at me trying to get through the girls. "You won't see him anymore Sarah, you're my girlfriend. So get over him, I know you have feelings for him." I looked into Isaac's deep eyes, hate filled mine. Taylor got up to me and pushed Isaac away. "Stay away from her Isaac." He took my hand and started running. We got into the building, and sat down. He took my arm in the same spot Isaac had squeezed it, and rubbed it until the swelling went down. "Are you okay?" He asked. "Yeah, Taylor, I should' ve known better. I love you. I want to be with you." We almost kissed but he stopped us, "I know I said I wanted to be with you, and I still do, but I listened to what you said, and you're right. We should stay friends, because that's more important than any other relationship we could have. You'll still always be my number one girl though." I smiled a wide smile, "Okay!" I nodded.